Finding my energy again

Ever feel low? The last couple of years I have felt low. I look in the mirror and like many people who have felt stuck in a rut looked in the mirror the other day and thought “wow, I am looking old and tired for someone in their mid 30’s”.

The last couple of years have been stressful to say the least. I have thought about whinging and wanting to have a tantrum like a 4 year old but, I know it won’t change anything. So I sat hubby down and explained how I was feeling. I wish somedays he’d been a psychologist or a philosopher, honestly. My husband put me into a self analysing mode for the better… I hope. Early days so let’s see. I had even asked a friend of mine how to remove some of the negative energy according to Vastu etc.

Today I woke up with a different kind of energy. I got myself ready before the kid’s, something I rarely ever do. Usually I wait till after they’re at school. Not today, I did my pooja or prayers, got the kids out of the house on time; so for school we were extra early, drank plenty of water, ate fruits and wore my favourite salwar. Aah, fingers crossed this continues. For sometime I have been procrastinating how to get me back. How to bring the person who was always ready on time, up early, looked out for myself to make sure my house is ready for the unexpected visitor or get things organised because I like an organised home. Do pooja and feel happy and blessed because I think I started the day off right for my family and myself. The last few days of analysing my worries or fears must have had an epihany type of effect. The energy today I hadn’t felt for sometime. I am praying god that it sticks.

Today was like a step towards finding myself again or finding a new version of myself. As I sat down to read after putting my boys to bed I realised that I liked who I was today. Yes I look older and tired but I was happy with who I was today, I was happy with the energy I found that I hadn’t had for sometime. No procrastinating, no thoughts of should I do this, should i let it go today; I was just ready. As if I was going to run some school cross country run, where you are waiting in line for the siren to run, but that anticipation of waiting makes you just run.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is just as good if not a little better.

 

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