Wasn’t all roses

Many people we meet are always shocked when they find out how long my husband and I have to been together. But it hasn’t always been clear cut.

We have fought against many things including racism, discrimination for religion, people looking down on us because my husband is brown, I am white, he is from south india not north india. The list goes on.

I was never told as a child not to play with this kid or that kid. My parents taught me that it doesn’t matter what a person’s color as long as they respect you and you respect them. Today I teach my son’s this same rule.

We’ve had many people tell us off for wanting to be together. Some have gone so far as to tell elaborate stories. One of my favorites was when we were getting married someone told my mother-in-law we already had two kids that’s why we want to marry, I asked my mother-in-law okay, where are my kid’s? Another statement was ohh he is looking for residency that’s why he is with you, its contract marriage. Okay where’s my payout?

So many stories came but the one thing that has remained whilst others have moved on or lost their relationships was that we remained committed. Some of the closest people too us at one stage had bets as to when we would split up. But, we made sure we had confidence in each other as well as honesty and trust. Our love for each other and respect has grown alot and over come alot.

I remember being told once that ‘this guy works so much and having long hours are you sure he is at work? Oh, yes I am quite sure he is at work and not a doubt I can call the restaurant anytime and he is there.

I always wanted to show to these people who put others down because they are unhappy, that in what is a interracial intercultural relationship that we are strong. There are so many people nowadays in interracial and intercultural relationships that it’s almost normal. I wouldn’t say normal just yet but many people are in these relationships and thriving.

It’s hilarious when we go places until my husband and I are standing together with our kids many people wonder are they her kid’s or are they his. Then we stand together, the light bulb goes off. Many laughs some days, but not always.

Gradually we’ve learnt to laugh at it. Our life is nowhere near perfect, we have so many struggles. But our marriage I believe is our strength.


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